The True Story of Aladdin's Genie
by Half-Finished Fics
Summary: the Q Continuum is never short of creative forms of punishment...


**hey! just a silly concept i got right after watching Disney's 'Aladdin'. don't kill me for it.  
>just a few side notes, if Q'Genie' seems a little OOC, thats my assuming that a personality can change a lot in 10,000 plus years. also, the guy that rubs the lamp at the end IS NOT Aladdin, seeing as how Q/'Genie' had supposedly had quite a few masters by the time Al came along.**  
><strong>don't know why im so obsessed with the Q, lol XD either way, i hope you enjoy this quirky (ANCIENT ALIENS!) take on where the Genie came from.<strong>  
><strong>read, enjoy, consider, reveiw.<strong>  
><strong>-"Irene"<strong>

The True Story of Aladdin's Genie

I was worried. Much more worried than when I had first heard that there would be a trial. They had only just told me that it wouldn't be held in the Continuum, that it would be held on some distant moon.

That bothered me.

We Q tended to stay in our true form for these things, but from what I gathered, we would be taking on humanoid shape.

We only ever stooped to that level if it was important.

Which, I suppose, collapsing an entire parallel universe probably was…

It was a dare, okay?

I felt the presence of two other Q near me, and with a bright flash of light, our forms condensed into humanoid bodies.

I eyed my escorts, Q was a Vulcan today. How fitting. Sometimes my own kind were more ridged than those green-blooded elfish gremlins.

And then there was Q, our little ambassador to humanity. Still wearing that pathetic uniform, oh what was it called again? Oh yeah. Star Fleet. How original. So Q was wearing the Star Fleet uniform, what was it with him and humans, anyway? It was almost as if he LIKED the disgusting little creatures. But like I said, they were probably more interesting the Q, anyway. They weren't jaded, like we were. They were ecstatic, fascinated, with some stupid 'new' discovery that we had known about long before they ever existed. I suppose, in a way, it was kind of cute.

But I would never be able to interact with them, no, never. I'm just too squeamish. The way they take in energy, putting something in their mouth and mashing it up, SWALLOWING it. Or maybe all that blood running through their veins, doesn't it hurt? Don't they feel it? Then there's all the oil and dead skin and…UGH. I've got to stop thinking about it. It might bring me to another revolting human tendency. Puking.

There was another flash as some other Q appeared. Wearing those robes again. Q must have started a trend when he put Picard on trial, because after that it seemed to become the current fashion. That was I change I didn't mind much, what we would wear before was a custom of an ancient civilization where you would take the biggest fish you could find, and…no. I wont go into that. Too squeamish.

More Q appeared, and then the scene morphed into a courtroom.

"Q." said one of the judges.

"Yeah?" it wasn't exactly formal, but I said it anyway. There was no way I could get into more trouble than I already was.

"You have been charged with collapsing a parallel universe. Do you have any objections?"

"No, that's pretty much what happened." I said, shrugging. What else could be said?

The judges Q looked at each other quizzically then vanished all at the same time.

A short moment later, (about .000000000000000000042 seconds, but that's just an estimate) they reappeared.

"Your punishment is as follows," said a Judge, in an annoyingly formal voice.

I wondered for a moment what it would be, probably some revoking of powers, community service, or perhaps a prison comet, you never really knew.

The judge snapped his fingers, and in the flat palm of his other hand, a small metal object appeared. Teapot? No, oil lamp.

But what did an oil lamp have to do with anything?

There was a metallic _shink_, and as I looked down at my wrists, I discovered that they had been shackled in gold.

I realized what was happening now, prison it was, as I felt myself being sucked towards that stupid, pitiful lamp.

"You are to be sent to ancient Earth."

Earth? EARTH? Why Earth?

"And you are to remain inside the lamp until called."

Called? Just like, 'yoo hoo! Q-ie! Up and at-em!'?

"You are to serve the one who called you, and grant them any three wishes."

Three wishes? What is this nonsense?

"With the exclusion of these, you may not kill, raise from death, or make people fall in love. Wishing for more wishes, exchanges, and refunds are also void. Your powers are to be limited unless granting wishes."

Q leaned forwards, his communication badge glinting in the light, and grinning, whispered to me, "but you can still put on a hell of a good show."

I felt a half smile twitch on my face, I was known for my extravagant displays, musical numbers, fireworks shows, spontaneous shapeshifting. Well, what was the point of phenomenal cosmic powers if it wasn't nice and flashy?

"This is to last until one of your masters deems you worthy of freedom, sacrificing a wish to do so." Finished the judge, who set the lamp on the floor.

I was literally dragging my feet now, but the pull of the lamp grew stronger by the second. I flung myself onto my stomach and gripped the ground with my fingernails, leaving long scratch-marks as I continued to slide backwards towards the lamp.

When an object is sucked into a black hole, it goes through a process called spagitification, or something like that, as the gravitational forces squeeze it into one, long, thin string of atoms. I felt something similar happening to me as my feet began to enter the lamp.

And in a few moments, I was entirely inside the thing. It wasn't exactly roomy, and I found I couldn't expand it.

I hoped somebody would call me soon, another minute in this cramped thing and I think I'd go insane.

I felt a slight wobbling, supposedly somebody just picked up my new home. The wobbling turned to spinning, as I found myself being hurled across light-years, presumably towards ancient Earth. With a soft jolt, the motion stopped. I had arrived.

I was consciously aware of the time passing, and there was nothing I could do about it. I whiled the time away by coming up with retail advertisements for the lamp, fine doublespeak that actually made cramped, uncomfortable, freezing in the night, roasting in the day, actually sound quite nice.

Lets see, how can 'cramped' sound nice? Well, there's 'nestled', 'tucked', 'stepsaver', oh, I like that one. Now how could I make it sound nice in Klingon?

A very long time later, (I could give the exact time, of course, but I was almost afraid to) I felt a jostle. Something I hadn't felt in at least several centuries.

And then something odd, there was quite an amount of friction on the side of the lamp, it agitated me. It made me want to come rocketing out of the lamp at warp 10, but I knew I couldn't, I had tried escaping, but to no avail.

But that sensation was driving me nuts! It was hot, it was making me jumpy, and what was worse, it tickled. I. Had. To. Get. Out.

I wasn't exactly aware of how or when I blasted out of the lamp, but what I did know, was that when I turned around, there was a very surprised looking Arab staring at me, my cage, the lamp, gripped tightly in his hands.

After as long as I had spent inside the thing, I had begun to get rather bored. Now I was out, I might as well test out the extent of my powers. I snapped my fingers, and I watched as the air shimmered with energy.

Oh ho ho, this fellow was going to get the ride of his life. There was no show so spectacular as a Q showing off, and I was a master of showing off.

This was going to change his life, because, I think it would be a safe bet to say,

He's never had a friend like me…


End file.
